On Being Offended - Business, Executive Life Skills Coaching

The business world often brings us in contact with people who live their lives looking for opportunities to be offended. Wayne Dyer, noted author, philosopher and guru pointed to this simple fact of life on PBS the other evening. It caught my attention because it explains so much of human behavior from hurts between family members (look at Othello and Desdemona) to terrorist acts by fundamentalist Muslims offended by Western Culture.

But, what about us?
Are you looking for opportunities to be offended? Do you find yourself getting angry with people who are not doing the job the way they should? Are you offended by the fact that someone disagrees with you and seems to be thwarting you at work.

I purposely exclude people who embrace this behavioral mode from my life. I'm not always successful, so when I do find myself having to interact with masters of negative possibilities, I set very definitive boundaries for what's acceptable behavior and what is not.

True, looking for opportunities to be offended is not a dominant behavioral mode for most of us. Yet, just accepting the fact that just by nature human beings have a natural tendency to be offended. Knowing that being offended is a possible mode for any human being, allows us to draw distinctions about own behavior.. We can ask ourselves whether we feel offended because we are "looking to be offended" or because there was an honest intention to offend us. Being able to draw that distinction empowers us to react more appropriately to situations when we do feel offended. Had Othello the emotional maturity to draw this distinction, the play would have had a much different outcome or might never been written at all.

Adherence to two of the four basic agreements put forth by Don Miguel Ruiz in his book, The Four Agreements, will help us to avoid being offended. The two agreements are 1) Don’t take anything personally and 2) Don’t make assumptions.

Coaching Points: Consider how you will interact with people you encounter who are looking for opportunities to be offended and how you will recognize when you are operating in this self destructive mode of behavior.

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